Miscarriage: what happens and how to cope

A miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy before the baby could survive outside the womb. Depending on the country, the term covers losses up to about 20–24 weeks. In the first trimester it is, sadly, not rare.

Most early miscarriages are linked to chance problems with the embryo's chromosomes, which cannot be prevented. Often no exact cause is found. Work, normal activity, sex, mild stress, dark thoughts, cold or arguments do not cause miscarriage. It is not your fault.

There may be vaginal bleeding, cramps in the lower abdomen, passing bits of tissue, and pregnancy symptoms suddenly fading. Sometimes there are no symptoms and the problem is only seen on ultrasound. Bleeding does not always mean miscarriage either. A doctor can find out with an ultrasound and blood tests.

Depending on your situation, a doctor may offer three paths:

• waiting while the body finishes the process;
• medicine to complete it;
• a minor procedure to remove remaining tissue.

If your blood group is Rh-negative, tell your doctor, as you may need extra treatment. Periods usually return in 4–6 weeks. Pregnancy is possible again, and you can discuss the timing with your doctor.

You may feel grief, guilt, anger, emptiness or relief. All of these are natural. Talk to your partner or someone you trust. If grief stays heavy, seek help from a psychologist. Your partner may be grieving too.

If you have had several miscarriages in a row, a doctor can offer further tests.