Signs a teenager needs help

Mood swings are normal in teenagers. What calls for concern is change that runs deep, lasts for weeks and gets in the way of everyday life.

• refusing food or hiding portions
• losing weight quickly, or periods stopping
• constant worry about weight and body shape
• going to the toilet straight after meals
• excessive exercise

Eating disorders are serious illnesses, not a matter of character. The sooner treatment starts, the better the outcome. Do not force her to eat or comment on her weight. Take her to a doctor.

• sadness, irritability or emptiness for more than two weeks
• pulling away from friends and hobbies
• sharp changes in sleep or schoolwork
• saying things like 'everyone would be better off without me'
• giving away belongings or saying goodbyes

Unexplained cuts or burns, long sleeves in hot weather and sharp objects in her room can all be signs. Self-harm is rarely about seeking attention. It is usually a way to cope with feelings that have become unbearable.

Choose a calm moment and say: 'I'm worried about you. If you want to talk, I'll listen.' Do not shout, shame or punish. Ask directly: 'Do you ever feel you don't want to be alive?' This question does not put the idea in her head. It gives her a way to tell you. Keep medicines and dangerous objects out of reach. Get any wounds treated, then see a specialist.